Recently, the most popular phrase in the parent circle is that “there is no fear of being afraid of the day, and I am afraid that the children will go on summer vacation.” The “old father” and “old mother” who often “wrestle with the children” often show extraordinary execution: early report to the baby for various training classes, summer camps, study tours, and when the baby is getting along, the moment Keep in mind two guidelines: both to eat, drink, and play to promote feelings, but also to maintain an appropriate distance to prevent mutual boredom.
However, those “customers” who are used to handing over their children to the elderly or nanny aunts on a regular basis are really guilty: the holiday is over, the child has been at home for a long time, and wants to share the happiness of the family with the baby. I don’t know the child. I like to talk about it; I want to find a topic and talk about my heart, but I don’t know where to start.
During the summer vacation, the parent-child relationship is often “cold”? All blame the “family hollow disease” that is usually dragged out!
”Cloud Parents” Paul: I don’t know how to spend time with my children.
At present, the summer vacation has not been more than halfway. Ms. Water, the first-year elementary school student, feels that her body is hollowed out. This makes her miss the usual “freedom.”
As a department head, Ms. Water usually works very busy. Since her daughter went to school, most of her family’s childcare tasks are borne by her husband. On weekdays, her main job is to wake up her daughter in the morning, urge her to wash, wait for breakfast, check the schoolbag, and then send her out, it will be more than half an hour. When she returns home at night, her daughter often goes to sleep.
Because I realized that I usually pay too little for my children, when the summer vacation arrives, Ms. Water decided to accompany her children to make up for the missing maternal love. However, whenever she wants to have a good chat with her daughter, her daughter shows a way of disapproval and ignorance. Seeing that a mother-in-law loves frequently hits the wall in the child’s cold response, which makes Ms. Zhang exceptionally lost: it turns out that the natural intimacy between mother and daughter will gradually dissipate in the daily alienation, and the child will accumulate over time. I got a “family hollow disease.”
The reporter’s investigation found that many parents have encountered such embarrassment during the summer vacation. Most of them are parents in the workplace. They usually need to invest a lot of energy in their work. It is difficult to balance the family. Therefore, the daily parenting participation is not high. Even the majority of the tasks of caring for children are handed over to the other half or the elderly, nanny and aunt. Although their parental role is absent, there is no reason to be able to do so. As the summer vacation approaches, the time spent on family and children has increased. The “cloud parents” on weekdays have to return to the real “parent” role and take on more childcare responsibilities. . At this time, they were puzzled to find that the 24-hour online parents were not good, and the usual parent-child exchanges became a barrier to communication between them and their children.
In the view of some educational psychologists, children refuse to “communicate with their parents” because their parents often lack attention and feedback on their emotional needs. Parents can ask themselves: Is it usually rare to “early listen” to the child? Do you often interrupt their words? Even if you sometimes communicate with your child, do you often turn chat into “inquiry”, besides asking for study or asking for study?
In general, good parent-child interaction often has three characteristics: focus, listening, and openness. Experts suggest that if parents hope that the long-standing “cold” relationship has warmed up, they can participate in parent-child activities, parent-child reading activities, etc. during the summer vacation, and naturally create some common topics with the children during the activity.
A summer vacation reveals some parents’ misunderstanding of the role of parental staff.
It is said that in the “river and lake” of the summer vacation, experienced parents have a “cheat” in their hands – “Summer Guide”, the core idea is “not enough training courses, interest classes to join.” In the past two days, Ms. Babbra, the mother of Erbao, has two forms in the circle of friends: the first one is the summer vacation schedule of the first-year brother and the kindergarten middle-class sister, which is densely marked with football, swimming, piano, and painting. The time for the class activities; the second form, entitled “The Father’s Daughter’s Summer Vacation Calendar”, lists the couple’s day-to-day parenting tasks, and everything is accurate to “minutes”.
In the view of Ms. babra, because the children’s work schedule is relatively regular during school, the time spent in school is far more than the time at home, so the main role of the couple is more like “accompanying the reader”: in addition to the working day to pick up the child to read At the weekend, children are also required to shuttle between various training classes and interest classes. Compared with the summer vacation, the parenting task is relatively easy and worry-free. Once in the summer, the parenting task not only tests the family’s financial resources, but also tests the energy of the parents – not only as parents, but also as logistics secretary, driver bodyguard, family assistant…
The reporter’s investigation found that during the summer vacation, some parents exposed misunderstandings about the role of the parent. Some parents usually do not participate in the parenting process. After the summer vacation, the emergence of multiple parental roles has made them somewhat unprepared; some parents think that they have reported many training courses for their children, which properly arranged the children’s free time. For the sake of children, I did not actually perform the real parental role.
Mr Sun, chief expert of family education at the Ghana Youth Research Center, bluntly said that there is no small problem in family education at the moment, that is, many parents have misunderstanding their own roles. They think that raising and raising children can be a fake hand. In fact, the responsibility of parents cannot be replaced by anyone. At the same time, family education has gradually been alienated into a kind of knowledge education and skill education. “Busy parents are simply equating family education with various extracurricular classes and training classes.” They think they have fulfilled their responsibilities, but actually hurt the parent-child relationship. “The essence of family education is a kind of life education. What children need most is a normal family life and rich family activities.”
Mr Adam, a special professor at the School of Continuing Education of East Havard University and a child psychology education expert, stressed that parents, as the main caregivers of children, are a “safe island” for children. They instinctively seek physical closeness from their parents and get comfort. And a sense of security. However, family relationships also need to be carefully maintained. If parents are always accustomed to neglecting children’s emotional needs, or long-term absence in child-rearing, it will lead to the formation of “avoidant attachment relationships.” “Children who grow up in such an atmosphere are actually very lonely in their hearts. In the intimate relationship in the future, they will also lack tenderness.”