My revolving door of exes is a running joke in my family. After high school, I didn’t visit home without a new boyfriend in tow. My family teased me but overall they were supportive and nice to Every-Boyfriend-They-Would-Meet-Once-And-Never-Again.
Though I’ve never been the “blinded by love” type, because of my serial dating, I’m now tuned into things that will be issues down the road. Call me a self-proclaimed expert in red flags due to my misadventures in romance.
Until this point, I’ve only been able to use this superpower for self-deprecating jokes, hilarious (but lurid) tales, and dating advice for my single friends. However, my well-honed douchebag radar will be better used if my mistakes help others from getting involved these stereotypical types of toxic boyfriends:
1. The Hulk
A picture frame went whizzing past my head and smashed on the wall behind me. The glass splintered, and a chunk hurtled through the air where it embedded in my foot. My red-faced boyfriend yelled, cursed, and slammed the door, leaving me alone while blood pooled around my foot. It’s hard to remember what he was mad about this time.
You know this guy. When you first meet, you’ll believe he has an energy about him — magnetism, perhaps. You might even say things like: “He’s so passionate.”
Reality check, though? He’s just angry.
His temper matches the Hulk and it doesn’t take much to set him off. He’ll punch walls or get in fights — for reasons big or small. And if a guy looks at you or even breathes in your direction? He’s outraged. While he may think he’s “protecting your honor,” you’ll soon discover the roller coaster of emotion is tiresome and annoying.
Guys like this think they’re a big man but underneath that anger is fear. Regardless of the reason, this kind of uncontrolled and misdirected anger is a ticking time bomb. Don’t get caught in the Hulk’s wake of destruction lest you become a victim too.